Love, Loss and Southern Food

FB_IMG_1445042241124 (1)

Sometimes life seems to come at you all at once.  Ups and downs are a constant of life but sometimes we get gobsmacked by both of them at the same time. Last weekend I had the absolute pleasure of welcoming a daughter into the family as my oldest son (and frequent GMD guest chef), Eric, got married in Charleston, SC.  I was filled with such joy that I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face. Only another parent could understand the pride and pleasure that my husband and I derived from watching our son and his lovely new wife exchange their vows in an old 1706 stone church, and seal their union with the traditional breaking of the glass followed by the birdseed ‘gauntlet’ to the get away car. We danced all night in celebration and witnessed the bride and groom depart late at night through an incredible tunnel of Sparklers!   I have three wonderful sons but I knew if I waited long enough I would finally get a daughter (hopefully eventually there will be three).  Eric could not have made a better choice.  Hannah Grace is beautiful inside and out.  My heart was full.

Moms 79th1

The following day, my Mother passed away in Seattle just shy of her 88th birthday.  I had been planning on taking the new bride up to Seattle right after the honeymoon to meet Mom, Dad and my rather large family and celebrate their new marriage.  As one of eleven children, I realize that this would be intimidating for anyone under the best of circumstances. Now, instead we will be going to say goodbye.  I am deeply sad that my Mom won’t get to meet Hannah Grace, a fellow educator and advocate for children and those in need, but even more so that HG won’t get to meet the person that had such an influence on who I am today and who also helped to shape the man with whom she chose to spend the rest of her life.  I have to remind myself that I am lucky that I got to know Mom for part of her life. She was fearless and selfless in so many ways and not afraid to get her hands dirty. She and my Dad took in dozens of foster children, including an entire family that escaped from Cuba in the 60’s.  She raised chickens and had an organic garden before they were trendy.  She was definitely ahead of her time, although she was incredibly humble and would be the last to call herself beautiful or a leader, yet she was both. It is from my Mom that I have the passion for gardening and experimenting with healthy food. Most likely without her wealth of knowledge and hands on experience, there would be no goodmotherdiet.  It’s hard to believe she is gone; that I can’t pick up the phone to chat about what to plant next to my kale this Fall or how to make her famous Oatmeal Waffles with Strawberry Goop.

My friend, Del, sent me a card that poses the idea; “Perhaps they are not Stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the Love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are Happy“. I find a small measure of comfort in this theory.  Although I bounce between sorrow and joy and back again, I am grateful that I am blessed with a loving family and I hope Mom is watching from her opening in Heaven as the newlyweds begin their life together. I know I will forevermore smile at the stars.

So what does this have to do with Southern Food?

Goodmotherdiet Charleston Classics Collage

Alas, I realize that this is actually a food blog, so steer myself away from Memory Lane for a bit to think about food and how it might relate. It is known that food can make us happy.  You have no doubt heard of comfort food which is often food that reminds us of our childhood or happier times, or at least makes our bellies feel happy and satisfied. I tend to go for a big bowl of buttered (non-GMO of course) popcorn cooked on the stovetop just like Mom used to make.  For Southerners, like my new daughter in law, Cheesy Grits might be your go to dish.  As I continue to bask in the glow of the Charleston wedding, with thoughts of my Mom tucked safely away in my heart, I have compiled several blog posts of delicious Southern specialties that I made after my pre-wedding trip to Charleston last spring, like Charred Okra and Tomatoes, Shrimp and Cheesy Grits, Fried Catfish and the famous Fried Green Tomatoes (which could be the perfect solution for those unripe tomatoes still on the vine when the weather gets cold).  There is a reason why some of these are classic dishes! Click through the links below for the full recipes. I will get back to cooking soon, but I’m taking a bit of a break right now to spend time with my family.  Thanks for reading…Joyce


Charred Okra with Tomatoes – Even those who are not fans of okra may change their minds with this one which combines smokey okra, charred onion and garlic, along with sweet wilted tomato and a sprinkling of fresh herbs and lemon zest.  You just may be pleasantly surprised!


Grilled Shrimp and Cheesy Grits – Need I say more?  Creamy grits with sharp white cheddar and parmesan topped with grilled shrimp with a honey, black pepper glaze and topped with loads of fresh herbs and lemon zest.


Fried Green Tomatoes with Buttermilk Lime Sauce – This is the recipe from Fanny Flagg and her novel, “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe”,that made ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’ famous around the whole country and not just in the South.  Yum!  This is the perfect answer for what to do with the last green tomatoes of the season as the cold weather sets in…


Fried Catfish Over Napa Corn Slaw-We’re talking Southern style fried fish (wheat and gluten free) over a light and spicy slaw.  Delicious!



14 thoughts on “Love, Loss and Southern Food

  1. Joyce,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Loved reading your blog about your mom, such a nice tribute to her and what she meant to you. As thrilled as you are to have Hannah Grace as your new DIL, know that we are as excited to have Eric as a nephew. They are a match made in heaven and maybe, just maybe, your mom waited until they were married to take her final journey home.


  2. Joyce, we were very saddened to learn of your mother’s death. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about her. Your mother lives on inside of you imparting a lifetime of joy and wisdom.


  3. Joyce, I am sorry to hear about your mom”s passing. The slice of life when one enters a family, and when 1 departs (physically). Your mom sounds like she was beyond amazing, with your size family and still actively doing and helping others. You were blessed to have had her as your mom. I too had an amazing mom, who passed away in 1990, but lives on in my heart and spirit, and I do feel so fortunate to have felt her love, known how she affected all around her in such a positive way. Mazel tov on your new daughter and son’s happiness. Take very good care, Lin Greene Jainchill

    Linda Greene Jainchill Marshall & Co. Property Management, Inc. Cell 415 509-1776



  4. Joyce,
    What a lovely testimony to your Mother. I wish Hannah Grace could have met her, but we believe she is watching over us all. More than thrilled to have Eric as our son, and to spending more time with all the Porters. I’m sure food will play a very important part in
    our times together! Love, Leslie


    • Leslie-I’m enjoying the newlyweds back home from the honeymoon. It definitely helps offset the sadness. I’m also looking forward to more Porter/Herman togetherness. Maybe trips to SF or Maine are in your near future…xo-Joyce


  5. Joyce,
    We’re so sorry to hear about your loss. We would like to extend our most sincere condolences. This is a lovely post; the photos are beautiful and your mother sounded absolutely remarkable and an inspiration to all. We hope that you take comfort in your family and friends and all of your fond memories that will never be forgotten. xx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s